Karma Bites Read online

  Caleb smiles, “Different, remember? Not crazy.”

  His understanding almost makes me mad, but I’m equally grateful for it. I know my emotions are all over the place, but I’m not sure how to feel. I jump to my feet, turning my back to him. “You don’t think I’m a freak? That I have a crazy mom and I’m going to be just like her. You don’t have to try and make me feel better, Caleb.”

  He laughs. The real kind, but somehow I know it’s not at me. “Abby, you’re not crazy. You’re the most normal person I know.”

  Slowly, I turn to face him. My whole body is on edge, but in a good way. “Really?”

  And then I’m tightly against him. My face in his chest, buried in Caleb’s scent, t-shirt and firm muscles. And he’s warm, so warm I want to melt into him.

  “Is that what you think, Kitten? Do you think you’re crazy, or you’re gonna be?

  I can’t say anything, because of the crushing feeling in my chest, so I just nod against him. It feels good here, tucked against him.

  “You’re not crazy. Not even close.”

  “But I might be some day. Maybe not, now, but she wasn’t when she was my age either. I…” I’m going to tell him about my dad. I’ve never had anyone to talk to about him before, but I’m glad it’s Caleb. “I think it happened when she lost my dad. They were teenagers and she was pregnant with me.” I’m talking into his chest, but I’m scared if I look up, he will let go and I don’t want that. “That time I was crying out here? I found a letter. It’s all I know about him. He told her he knew she was pregnant with me and asked her to meet him. She said he was murdered by vampires. I think he died and she went crazy. What if I can’t handle something in my life and do the same thing?” My voice cracks.

  As I feared, Caleb pushes me away, but now I’m looking at him and it’s almost as good.

  “I know it’s a stupid nickname, but remember what I said about the Kitten? You’re too strong to let something take you down. Just like with Cavanaugh, you would have gone after her if I didn’t hold you back. You’ll do the same thing in your life.”

  Heat snakes around my body, wrapping me up and spreading to my cheeks. Will I ever get tired of hearing him say things like that?

  Caleb touches my cheeks. His fingers tickle the same path as all the heat inside me. “I like this. The pink.”

  “You, do?”

  He nods. And then he’s looking at me all different again, but even more differently than before. It’s like it’s the first time he sees me. But I see him. I always have.

  His hands are still on my face, but his lips are now on mine. They’ve never been here before. Heck, no guy’s lips have and I’m unsure what to do. It’s a soft kiss. Just little movements of his lips over and over. They’re closed mouth kisses, no tongues, just a meeting of lips, warmth, and tingles.

  Soon, I’m doing it back, meeting him kiss for kiss. Is it possible that I feel a kiss everywhere? That they can make hummingbirds dance in my belly, and electricity to zip beneath my skin? Make me feel too hot, but perfect at the same time? It is possible because that’s what I feel right now.

  He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth a little before peppering more of his soft kisses to my lips and then his tongue teases the seam of my mouth. I don’t have to be asked twice. Hoping I’m doing this right, hoping those hummingbirds can fight off the nerves inside me, I open up for him. Letting his tongue touch mine. It’s a game of give and take, of exploration as he tastes me and I taste him. I learn his mouth and then he learns mine. I’m dizzy. I can hardly breathe air, so I breathe Caleb instead.

  And then the game is over. He pulls away, but not before one more of those gentle, closed mouth kisses. If he wasn’t holding me, I’d probably fall. Caleb can kiss and I can only hope by the way he’s smiling at me, I can too.

  “The other day you said you weren’t anything special. You’re wrong, Caleb. You are someone very, very special.”

  And those words earn me another kiss. Go me!

  Chapter Thirteen

  Sunday morning Mom wakes me up and tells me she wants us to spend the day together. Me? I want to sit around and touch my lips all day. Or better yet, go back to Caleb’s and maybe his mouth can touch them a little more. Since that’s obviously not an option, I settle on finding that exact moment our lips touched in my mind.

  I remember it while eating breakfast. Touch my lips. Sigh.

  It pops into my head while we go for a drive. Touch my lips, like I can hold his kiss in. Sigh.

  When the couple in the romantic comedy we go see kiss? Yep, I’m definitely remembering our kiss now. My lips tingle and I can’t stop wondering if he’ll do it again tomorrow. I mean, are we a couple now? I know he’s planning on leaving town soon, but will we be together until then? Will he change his mind? Is he going to treat me differently at school?

  “Did you like the movie?” Mom interrupts my thoughts. We’re back in the car now, driving toward him. I immediately feel guilty because I’ve been distracted all day. This is the first time in a long while we’ve spend time together without fighting and here I am playing reruns of my make-out session with Caleb over and over in my head.

  “Yeah. It’s was cute. Did you?”

  “You know I’m a softie when it comes to romance. Of course I liked it.” Mom smiles at me.

  “Me too,” I mumble. I never was real romantic before, but a sexy pair of green eyes and some kissing can change a girl’s mind real quick. She tried so hard today that I want to make an effort too. “Wanna go get some ice cream? My treat.” It’s fun to say that. My job may be boring, but it’s putting a little bit of money in my pocket.

  Mom smiles. “Sure.” We head over to the ice cream parlor. She gets a strawberry shake and I get chocolate. We sit in one of the polka dot booths in the corner. “How’s school going?” she asks.

  “Good.” I think about the way The LP has left me alone lately. How I might have a boyfriend when I show up at Karma High tomorrow and change my mind, “Great, actually.”

  We play that back and forth game for a bit, talking about work, school, and all that jazz. I’m trying to pay attention. I really am, but my thoughts keep going back to the boy in the cabin. The one who’s alone. Oh, and the one who likes to kiss me. Somehow it makes me start wondering about my dad too. About him and Mom.

  I stir my milkshake with the straw. “Mom? Can I ask you something?” My nerves are rattling slightly. We’ve never been able to calmly talk about this subject, but then, I’ve never brought it up in this context before either.

  “Of course, kiddo. You can always ask me anything.”

  I sigh, because we both know that isn’t true. “I want to ask you something about my dad. Not about,” I lower my voice. “You know… but something happy. I want a good memory. Like something about how you guys met or something sweet he did for you?” My eyes are really taking in my milkshake because I’m scared to look at her. I never realized I need this, but I do. I need something about them.

  Realizing I can’t make eyes with my drink all day, I slowly raise my head to look at her. Her eyes are on me and I have a feeling they’ve never left. “Please?” I ask.

  Slowly, she nods her head. “Well, let’s see. You want to know how we met?” It’s obvious she’s trying to sound much braver than she feels. Her voice is shaky. “This is a little embarrassing, because it was my being careless that brought us together. I’d snuck out of my house. I was eighteen, but still lived at home. They weren’t the type to let me go to parties and I always thought I knew better than they did.”

  I fought the scoff that begged to come out of my mouth at that one.

  “I got in an argument with this guy at a party and I left by myself. Well, he had something else in mind, followed me, and when I tried to run away, he grabbed my arm. It was like your father came out of nowhere. I’ve never seen a real fight before, but I’m pretty sure even if I had, watching him would still be something spectacular. He wouldn’t walk away until the boy apologiz
ed and then he offered to bring me home.” She’s smiling and I bet she doesn’t realize it. I’m smiling too.

  “I can’t believe I got in the car with him. This guy I didn’t know, but I did and we stayed out all night just driving around and talking. He was smart, so smart, Abbs. And so sweet. I’d never met anyone like him.”

  Goosebumps traveled up and down my body. She loved him so much. It drips from her words. From the sigh slipping between her lips. Mom’s wringing her hands together, not looking at me anymore, but I’m sure at her memories of him, instead.

  “I think I fell in love with him that very night. We were inseparable after that. I was in my senior year, and he worked a full time job, but we spent every evening together. We’d dance, talk, whatever I wanted. For the first time in my life I had someone who cared what I wanted. My parents weren’t like that. It was always about what they wanted, but not with Christopher.”

  I gasped. Christopher. How could I not have known my own father’s name?

  “With Christopher, it was always about me.”

  We’re both quiet for a few minutes. I’m trying to see what she sees, those memories of her past with my dad, but of course, I can’t. My cheeks are wet and I realize I’m crying. One look at Mom shows me she is too.

  When she looks at me again, it’s as though she found a way to turn off all the emotion. All those little bits and pieces of my dad she let come to the surface, she’s pushing away again. “But things change. They’re not always what you think they are. Come on, kiddo. Let’s head home.”

  Just like that, our conversation is over.

  ***

  This morning, I use more than just Mom’s perfume. I spread a little gloss on my lips, but then take it off again. If there’s going to be any kissing going on, I want to taste Caleb and not artificial strawberries. I dig out a really cute yellow shirt from the back of my closet. It’s much more girly than the t-shirt hoodies I usually wear. I’m ready about ten hours…okay, maybe thirty minutes before I’m supposed to meet him, so I spend the morning pacing my living room and hoping to burn off some the nervous energy before I see him again.

  About three minutes before I’m supposed to meet him, I skip down my stairs. As soon as I turn onto the street, I see him waiting for me. His back is to me, but it’s like he hears me and turns to look at me too.

  I blow out a deep breath. Come on, Abbs. You can do this. My feet start carrying me to him. Caleb doesn’t come toward me, just stands there with his hands buried deep in his pockets. It takes about three years before I reach him, or at least that’s what it feels like. “Hey,” I say, knowing it’s lame, but not sure what else to say.

  “Hey,” Caleb mumbles back. He gives me a small smile and starts to walk. “You do anything yesterday?”

  Thought about you all day. “Not much. I hung out with my mom all day. We went and watched a movie. You?”

  He only shakes his head. I risk glances at him every few minutes while we’re walking. His eyes have dark circles around them and they’re bloodshot. His skin looks pale, paler than usual. He looks tired. More tired than I’ve ever seen him. “Is everything okay?”

  He doesn’t even look at me when he talks, his eyes, watching his feet while mine watch him. “Not feeling too hot. I had a bad headache last night and it’s just now wearing off.”

  “Did you get any sleep?”

  He shakes his head. “I fell asleep a few times, but I kept having crazy-ass dreams. They kept me up and if it wasn’t that, it was the some animal prowling.”

  I want to reach for his hand. To somehow hope it makes him feel better, but I’m too scared. What if the kiss was a fluke? “Animal?”

  “Yeah, I live in the woods, Abby. Remember? There are animals out there and sometimes I hear them outside the cabin.”

  I stumble a little, shocked at how he snapped at me. “Well, sorry.”

  “Shit.” He looks at me for the first time. “I feel like crap. I don’t mean to take it out on you.”

  “It’s okay.” I wonder why he didn’t just stay home, but don’t ask.

  When we reach the grounds of the school, Caleb stops where we always do, down by the tree line. “Well, here we are.” He looks at the ground again while he speaks.

  “Here we are.” Please, kiss me. Touch my hand, my shoulder, anything so I know you like me.

  He doesn’t. “I have to head up the hill to woodshop.” Woodshop is to the side of the school, up the hill the opposite way from where I’m heading.

  “Okay.” Before he can walk away from me, I walk away from him. I stressed and worried for nothing. Did I really expect Caleb to treat me differently? Things will never be different for me.

  ***

  I don’t even open my lunch as I sit by myself in the cafeteria. It’s been a crap day and all I need is a crap lunch to add to it. Caleb’s done his typical disappearing act all morning. I haven’t seen him in the halls once. Today is no different than another other day, but it feels it. Feels lonelier because somehow, I thought he would be by my side.

  I open the top of my Pepsi and as soon as it pops, my head jumps up so I’m not looking at the table, but the cafeteria door. Caleb’s standing there, looking around the room. Some of the other people are looking toward the door too, probably wondering what Caleb Evans is doing coming into the lunch room. He’s never in here. He’s usually across the street with his hoodlum friends.

  His eyes keep circling around the room and finally they land on me. It’s different than it was this morning, because this time when he sees me, he smiles. I might or might not have given him the biggest smile of my life in return. He starts walking toward me and it takes everything inside me not to walk over and meet him.

  “Is this seat taken?” Caleb asks, cocking his head toward the seat beside me.

  “Nope.”

  He sits down beside me. His thumb brushes my cheek as he sits down. The tingles are back, zipping through my body.

  “Hi.”

  “Hi.” I return and then he leans forward and gives me a quick kiss. I swear a chorus starts singing hallelujah somewhere in the lunchroom, but I don’t look.

  Caleb ruffles his hair. “Sorry I was a prick this morning. I felt like shit. And…” he looks down, then up at me through his lashes; the vulnerable Caleb’s back. “This is a little…different for me.”

  Without hesitation I reach out and grab his hand. “That makes two of us.”

  I float through the rest of the school day, riding a Caleb high. When Stacy gives another one of her fake, invasion of the body snatcher, ‘hi’s’, I actually return it this time. Don’t get me wrong. I hate her. We’ll never be friends even if she isn’t just planning something, which I’m sure she is. But I’m too happy to care. I’m too happy to let her get me down and I’m too happy not to let her see it.

  When I head out the back door after school, my eyes go straight to the line of trees.

  And he’s not there.

  I can’t believe he’s not there.

  “Hey, Kit—Abby.”

  I turn, following the voice and Caleb’s leaning against the building waiting for me. That’s right. For me. “Hi.” My whole face flames. What is it about him that turns me into a boiled tomato? Well, if people actually boiled tomatoes, that is.

  Caleb pushes off the wall and scratches that back of his head, looking at me. Is he a little unsure too? Not sure if he should hold my hand? I have no idea, but I hope so. It’s not only misery who loves company, but girls in their first relationships too.

  He laces his fingers through mine and I seriously have to bite my tongue not to squeal. Cheesy? Yep, but I like cheese. “Can I ask you something?”

  Caleb gives me a small shake of his head.

  “Why do you stop yourself from calling me Kitten now?”

  He gives his head another rub/scratch and I know this is his nervous thing. Mine’s blushing and rambling and his is rubbing his head.

  “Your little friend.”

  “H
uh?”

  “The jerk from the kitchen. You must have been too pissed at me to catch that part, but he talked shit about it. I couldn’t care less what he thinks, but I didn’t want to use it if you think it’s lame too.”

  I squeeze his hand. Look at me, being all comforting and girlfriend-ish. “Absolutely not. I love it.” And I’m not even too embarrassed to admit it either.

  We’re in the woods now, walking on the path that’s so familiar. It’s something else that feels like ours I realize. I know I shouldn’t do it. I’m pretty sure being clingy isn’t considered sexy, but I have to know. “So…you’re leaving when you turn eighteen, right? When’s that?”

  Caleb groans. “Two months.”

  Two months? That’s nothing. “Why not wait until you graduate? It’s not long after.”

  “Maybe. I don’t know. There’s too much shit here. Too many memories, I guess. What’s the difference? Two months? Three months? Three and half? It’s all the same thing.” His words crush me a little.

  “Well… a high school diploma for one.”

  “Kitten, I could skip every class between now and end of the year and graduate. I could sleep through a GED test and still pass it. School’s not a problem.” He rubs his thumb against my hand. My heart jumps. Will I ever get used to this?

  “What do you mean?” I’m not sure how someone can skip almost a whole semester and graduate.

  “I’m…nothin’. I don’t want to talk about that, but.” He stops and turns me so I’m facing him. “I can’t stay here. Hell, I would have left a long time ago, but how would I rent a place? Stay in a hotel or anything like that until I’m eighteen. You don’t know what it’s like staying in that house, Abby. The things I see every time I look around it.”

  Call me crazy, or I have no idea, but something takes me over. Something that’s not me, but maybe a little bit of the strength Caleb thinks he sees in me, but I quiet him with my mouth, pressing my lips to his. I don’t want him to have to talk about this. To bring up all those memories of his parents. He takes so much of my pain from me; I just hope I can erase some of his.